The Jenny McCarthy Show: Snooki And JWoww Groundbreaking Interview

Jenny: JWoww! (both sucking on lollipops and all three are lying down on a bed or something with the camera above them)
Jenni: What’s going on?
Jenny: Why do they call you JWoww? (Jenni looks down at her boobs) Besides being delicious.
Jenni: Well, when I used to walk in the club, the MC used to go ‘Wow!’ and then the 2 W’s is for my double D’s.
Jenny: (touches Jenni’s left boob repeatedly with one finger) Wow, those are some good ones. Are they silicone or saline? 
Jenni: The new gel, actually.
Jenny: What?!
Jenni: Came out a couple of years ago.
Jenny: Come on. Lil Kim, you can learn something. (Jenni laughs) So you’re getting married. Are you worried about having only one penis for the rest of your life?
Jenni: Uhm… No, ‘cause I think that’s what a dildo is for. I’m just saying.
Jenny: Do you feel like you’ve smushed enough?
Jenni: I smushed enough.
Jenny: What do you do, though, if you fall in love with someone that has a small wiener? 
Jenni: Ugh. That’s when the dildo really comes in handy - and vibrators and God knows, anything else.
Jenny: (laughs) Speaking of sex, how come you turned down Playboy? They were offering you $400.000…
Jenni: I know. I didn’t turn it down, I just post-poned it because our demographic for MTV was so young and I didn’t want them to see my vag, so…
Jenny: Hate to tell ya, everyone saw your vag on that episode…
Jenni: I know, I’ve seen your vag. I love your vag.
Jenny: It’s so bushy. But you know, that’s what you have to do when you have to cover a C-section scar. You have to hide the damage, you know what I’m saying?
Jenni: Do what you gotta do.
Jenny: If you don’t wanna ruin your vagina like Snooki did. Have you ever hooked up with a celebrity?
Jenni: No, but in my dreams, I’ve hooked up with Tom Hardy, all the time. That’s also what helps to keep it going.
Jenny: I don’t know who Tom Hardy is.
Jenni: Bane?! Batman? This Means War?
Jenny: Yes, I know who you’re talking about now.
Jenni: I would do him every which way. He’s probably got a restraining order out on me since I talk about him so much.
Jenny: (laughs) If someone were to look on your history, on your computer, what’s some naughty things you might have on there?
Jenni: Tom Hardy’s penis in Bronson. I’m obsessed.
Jenny: (laughs) Oh my God, check out my roots. I just noticed them. Is that bad or what?
Jenni: Nah, you look fine.
Jenny: I have no time. (whispers) Tell us something about Snooki that no one knows. Just between us.
Jenni: She got an extra stitch.
Jenny: She got an extra stitch? One more than she’s telling?
Jenni: Yeah, 2 extra. That’s why she doesn’t like to do sex.
Jenny: Let me find out. Hey, Snooks.
Nicole: (smiling) Not cool.
Jenny: Is that true? Did you get an extra stitch?
Nicole: Yeah, obviously but Jenni masturbates to Family Guy. (Jenni starts laughing)
Jenny: NOOO!! Come on!
Nicole: She sits in her hot tub and puts the vibrator on charge and she masturbates to Family Guy.
Jenny: Is this true, JWoww?
Jenni: Kinda. I get off on Stewie.
Jenny: Shut up! Is Stewie the dog?
Jenni: No, it’s the baby. (laughter)
Jenny: Oh my God!
Nicole: It’s the baby!
Jenny: (to Nicole) What would be on your history?
Nicole: Probably, like, hot lesbians.
Jenni: That’s boring. Go with the cartoon babies. With Seth MacFarlane voices.
Nicole: (to Jenny) What do you look up?
Jenni: She looks up everything.
Jenny: Me? I’m kind of like a dude, I think. I mean, I like my porn websites.
Jenni: GirlsIn*beep*.com?
Nicole: That’s a website?
Jenni: I don’t know. I just… (laughter)
Jenny: I’ve been with girls, I’m kind of over it. So are you still experimenting?
Nicole: No, I got a man and a baby now.
Jenny: So if I’d suggest making out later, you’d be against it?
Nicole: I can’t. Jionni would kill me.
Jenni: I would take one for the team if I… (Jenni and Jenny exchange looks)
Jenny: We look like we’re onto something with the threesome here. Have you ever had a threesome before? (Jenni pops a lollipop in her mouth and just looks straight ahead)
Nicole: No. You?
Jenny: Yeah. I was a Playmate, it was a requirement.
Nicole: Booboo?
Jenni: (with lollipop in her mouth) I’m eating a lollipop.
Nicole: Oh, I know your story!
Jenny: (pulls lollipop out of Jenni’s mouth) Speak it! (to Nicole) Oh, what is it?
Nicole: I can’t…
Jenni: I kind of hooked up with a Russian stripper in a New York City -
Jenny: YES!
Jenni: - strip club in the Boom Boom Room.
Jenny: How do you know she was Russian? Did she speak Russian?
Jenni: She spoke Russian. She spoke like a thick - 
Nicole: What did she sound like?
Jenny: That’s kind of hot.
Jenni: It was hot until she got out that… the wrap. Saran wrap.
Jenny: What are you talking about?
Jenni: Saran wrap, it’s like the female condom.
Male voice: Oh, dental dam.
Nicole: You put it on your vagina?!
Jenni: I was like, Wait a minute, I just sobered up for a second.
Jenny: I do not know about this and I know so much about sex. They put Saran wrap over your pussy hole? (Nicole is hysterically laughing.)
Jenni: Yeah. I mean, I kind of get it, thinking back at 21, I really wouldn’t want to contract anything from a Russian stripper but you know… at the time, I was like, ‘What the fuck is Saran wrap doing out?’
Jenny: How awesome was that experience?
Jenni: It was pretty awesome. I mean, when we got back into it, it was like a slip and slide with Saran wrap, so it was a good time.
Jenny: By far, my favorite groundbreaking interview. Thank you so much, ladies! Cheers! (they cheer with their lollipops)

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