Cancun Spring Break
Snooki: I’ve never been to Cancun but I always wanted to. Spring break, drinking, going crazy. But I’m like, Ugh. I kinda didn’t want to go in the first place because I knew it was spring break. Plus, I knew I was gonna be so jealous because I couldn’t drink and go crazy.
Jenni: Do the things you wanted to do?
Snooki: Yeah. So right off the bat, before even going to Cancun, I’m like, Eh, kinda don’t wanna go pregnant.
Jenni: I went once before and it was - it was actually a horrible time, so I wanted to make up for it because I went with my douchebag ex.
Snooki: You went for like two days, though.
Jenni: Two days of pure hell. Fucking midge.
Snooki: I definitely wanna go back though, when I’m not pregnant.
Jenni: I made up for it in Cancun, kind of.
Snooki: Yeah, you were drunk the entire time, I was so jealous. This fucking bitch.
Jenni: A little bit.
Pregnant At The Beach
Snooki: Right before I got pregnant, I hit my goal weight of 100 pounds. Ripped, like, my stomach was awesome, flat, my boobs looked good. And then I got pregnant and then it’s just all coming back and it’s just gross and my body’s changing and I have a baby inside me, so my stomach looked weird, so of course I’m gonna be self-conscious at the beach with three sexy girls in bikinis. And I’m the freaking pregnant -
Jenni: I was fat.
Snooki: Okay. And I’m the pregnant one with my body growing weird and I’m like, Damn, I wish I came here when I was 100 pounds and I was legit, like, fit.
Snooki: So why did you call me a 12-year old when I wanted to bring Crocadilly to the zoo?
Jenni: Cause that’s what 12-year olds do. They bring their stuffed animals to the zoo.
Snooki: But you know who Crocadilly is. He’s, like, real.
Jenni: Yes. And I thought it was really stupid that you wanted it to meet its cousins.
Snooki: I didn’t.
Jenni: She started bitching five minutes in. “Fuck, I don’t want to carry this thing!” Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. She’s like, throwing it over her shoulder. She’s, like, trying to throw it in the crocodile pit but I’m like, Yeah.
Snooki: Well, he enjoyed it.
Jenni: See? Now you know.
Snooki: I actually hate crocodiles but I have Crocadilly, so it made sense to bring Crocadilly to a crocodile zoo. But other than that, I hate the creatures. I just liked the stuffed animal.
Jenni: (laughs her ass off) Creatures.
What You Didn’t See
Snooki: You didn’t really see everything that went down at the zoo. Like the monkeys… we were actually interacting with them the whole time, like feeding them bananas and going crazy with them. They loved us. You don’t get to see that.
Jenni: They were with us from the beginning to the end.
Snooki: Yeah. And also the ordeal with the deer, that was a legit 20-minute ordeal. Like deer running everywhere. Jenni was climbing the fence.
Jenni: I jumped the fence.
Snooki: I was swinging my purse, Ryder and Yanice were punching the air. Like, it looked like -
Jenni: A movie.
Snooki: The scene out of Lion King when Mufasa dies. That’s what it looked like.
Pregnant Vs. Party Day
Jenni: We didn’t want to get too carried with the partying or getting drunk. Just the time in Cancun, we wanted to split evenly. We came up with a pregnant day and a party day where we would do fun activities that involved no drinking and then activities that involved the three of us drinking and Nicole just kind of participating. That’s how we kind of came up with -
Jenni: It was a good effort. Go team!
Snooki: It was a good idea. The only thing I really wanted to do on pregnant day was relax and go to the zoo but I definitely didn’t want to go to a club on pregnant day. I didn’t want to be there, I was tired, exhausted, bored. You know, the girls were taking shots, interacting with everyone and I just didn’t want to be there at all. But I also didn’t want to make them leave because I wanted to leave, so I kind of stuck it out for a while until I saw the fight which was like right near me and I’m like, Oh hell no, this is not gonna happen right now. I’m pregnant. What if someone bumps into me and I fall and something really bad happens? In my head, I’m like, I should not be here right now. This is not some place where a 4-months pregnant person should be.
Jenni: Her safety - when you feel like your safety is at risk, then you start - the nerves start coming and the anxiety -
Snooki: Freaking out.
Jenni: Yeah. So I understand where Nicole was coming from. And I’m on the other side, I just got in that fight. It was because of me and the girls that the fight occured and now I’m wound up, flipping out and all I wanna do is have a drink to calm down where she wanted to leave.
The New JWOWW
Jenni: I definitely agree to Nicole when she said that I don’t party like this at the shore. And there’s two ways I looked at it. There was one that Nicole was so drunk that she didn’t realize how much I drank ‘cause she’s on a whole other level than me. And the other reason is because in the shore, we’re drinking five nights a week, so it kind of gets dragged on and -
Snooki: So you’re like on vacation.
Jenni: Yeah, it’s draining, so when I’m on vacation, this is how I like to be whereas at the shore, I’m like, I gotta work, I gotta get up, I gotta do this, do that, I gotta go to the gym, so I don’t drink as much. Whereas in Cancun, I wanted to smash.
Snooki: Rain check.
Snooki: Cause she would wake up at, like, 9 to make a drink and I’m like, Cool! She’s so fucking cool right now. Because that’s usually what I do and I was just really jealous.
Jenni: I can handle it in small [doses].
Snooki: I was jealous.
Jenni: She can do it for two months straight.
Snooki: Ugh, God. Can’t even think about drinking right now.
Snooki: I think me and Jenni just had a miscommunication the whole time in Cancun. I wasn’t really telling her how I was feeling and then it kind of made me look like a bitch and she’s like, Whatever, she’s not fun. Why is she even here? But that whole night that we were getting ready for dinner and they were ready, I legit tried on 7 outfits and -
Snooki: This is when my bump popped a little bit and it still kind of looked like a beer belly and I’m like, Eww. So I tried on all these different outfits, I didn’t feel comfortable and usually when you’re wearing an outfit and you don’t feel comfortable, your mood gets down, you feel self-conscious. That’s exactly how I felt. So I finally found an outfit and they were already out the door and I’m like, Ugh, I already feel like shit. My outfit sucked, nothing fits me. I’m like, I’m in Cancun, spring break and pregnant.
Jenni: We started getting ready and by the time we were done, that’s when Nicole started getting ready, so then we were like, Why didn’t she get ready with us? Now we have to wait. And the icing on the cake was when I was ready to walk out ‘cause she said she’s ready, but then she wanted to call Jionni. And then I was like, Fuck this, I’m out. I was so agitated. Not taking her feelings into consideration - I just had that one track mind because she wasn’t telling me what she was going through. So the only thing I could think of is like, she just doesn’t like being here, she’s being a bitch, she doesn’t want anything to do with this. And I’m not gonna ruin my time where I didn’t realize it was because of her issues and the pregnancy and what’s really bothering her. I definitely meant when I said Nicole shouldn’t have come to Cancun ‘cause I don’t think it was a good idea. Her body was going through a big transition and she’s trying to get used to being pregnant. We went with girlfriends that were technically all single even though we’re in relationships and because of that, if she was to do Cancun, it should have been with our boyfriends and not in the way we were doing it with our girlfriends. So I feel like it was just bad all around for Nicole and her pregnancy.
Snooki: I definitely regret going to Cancun with the girls. Just made me feel very unconscious. Or self-conscious about myself.
Jenni: Knocked you out?
Snooki: Yeah, unconscious.