Fuck Yeah JWoww

Jenni: (after Roger hid Noel in one of her suitcases and scared her) My baby! How are you doing in there? That’s okay, we’re leaving him.
Roger: Should I just start looking for a new girlfriend now or..?
Jenni: No, you can wait a couple of weeks.
Roger: Anything else we should know?
Jenni: Uhm… I’m pregnant.
Roger: Riiight. I know that’s not true. I try to have sex with you 6 times a day and I get denied constantly.
Jenni: Saving it for my new boyfriend.
Roger: Let’s break up, for like 15 minutes and have make up sex before you go and get back together.
Jenni: Nah, I got my period.
Roger: N’ugh.

Jenni: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Fuuuuck! […] Okay, I’m good.

Roger: (to Noel) Why does she do that to us? (Noel runs away from his arms) You’re leaving me, too?! What the fuck? Do I stink?

Roger: If Nicole is driving you bonkers and you can’t take it, don’t call me crying. You’ve made the choice.
Jenni: Don’t make me twist your nipple.
Roger: Don’t touch my titties.

Jenni: Jesus. Manual locks and everything?
Roger: It’s old school like me.

Roger: Jenni’s not so much a hands-on girl, you know? Thank God she’s got a hands-on boyfriend.

Snooki: I told Jenni she should get pregnant ‘cause then we could be pregnant together.
Roger: You’d have to convince this girl to let me put my penis anywhere near her before we can have a child. She’s anti-sex.
Snooki: I’m anti-sex now too. We haven’t had sex in, like, a week and that’s long for us.
Roger: We’re going on just over a year now.
Snooki: Yeah, right.
Roger: That’s my cue to get out here. Alright, babe. I love you.
Jenni: I love you.
Roger: I love you.
Jenni: I love you too.
Roger: Bye, Nicole. Take care - I was gonna say, ‘Take care of my girl’ but I think my girl’s gonna be taking care of you.

Jionni: You ready for the bachelor party?
Roger: Yo, you better start asking for permission right now - for me, not for you. Jenni, I’m putting in an official request right now for Jionni’s bachelor party.
Jenni: No.
Roger: See that? That’s real life right there. What is it that bothers you so if I went? Like, why would it be a big deal?
Jenni: I don’t want some girl shoving her fucking tits and vagina in your face. I know what goes down at bachelor parties. I don’t like it. I don’t want no dirty skanks grinding on him at Jionni’s bachelor party. Guys get grimy ass strippers coming to their bachelor party. I’m supposed to be like, ‘Oh, you’re not going there to have tits in your face’? There’s nothing good that comes from bachelor parties. People get divorces before they get married on bachelor parties. Weddings don’t happen because of bachelor parties.
Roger: Paranoia.
Jenni: What’s that? Paranoia? That’s truth, that’s facts! You’re not going out to the fucking diner and hanging out and getting a glass of orange juice!